- — Plutor
Young Jude Surrency
From The Great Outdoor Fight
"Young" Jude Surrency (b. 1880, d. 1994) is a fairly famous contestant as he is one of the oldest contestants to ever win a Great Outdoor Fight. It was commonly agreed when he entered that his being allowed to join the Fight was a colossal joke on the part of the officiants as Jude had a bad eye and a pronounced limp that required him to use a cane to get around.
The joke was, however, on his critics as the fifty-three year old Mr. Surrency proved to be one of the most ferocious contestants the Fight has ever seen. In his youth, he had accompanied a unit of the United States Army during the Spanish American War to the Philippines as a mascot and had remained in Asia well after the conflict and the following Insurrection. During those years, he became quite a skilled martial artist, skills that caught his fellow contestants completely off-guard. This was 1933 after all and martial arts weren't exactly common in North America at the time.
Those very martial arts skills would allow him to plow through numerous opponents during the first day and construct a considerable army of followers. By halfway through the third day, his army had overwhelmed all other armies (there were no less than six major armies as well as dozens of smaller ones during this particular year due to a surplus of charismatic individuals entering the GOF). The fight ended when he pummeled his last few remaining followers into submission.
His record for "Most Contestants Dispatched By A Single Contestant" (largely achieved during the first day of the fight) stood for nearly forty years when it was shattered in spectacular fashion by THE Rodney Leonard Stubbs, The Man With the Blood on His Hands.
For the rest of his life, Mr. Surrency watched the fight from The Tower every year and often offered advice on how to improve the running of the event whether he was asked to or not. Notably, he urged for the change from silverware to the plastic utensils after the events of the 1970 fight. He was also opposed to the use of The Jeeps and was often critical in later years of how the Schweitz incident was handled. In his eye, previous Champions should have gone down there and fought them with the last triplet surviving or conscious being declared the winner. He volunteered to do it himself at the time, but was overruled by the Ruling Body.
This criticism has largely been attributed in recent years to Mr. Surrency's dislike of "those newfangled automobiles".
Mr. Surrency was also the single most vocal critic of the decision by the Ruling Body in 1986 to allow the entrance of Fight-Bot.
Mr. Surrency made many appearances on the Bob Raffles Show throughout the years, which is somewhat baffling as he clearly hated Raffles and often said as much to the interviewer's face. Surrency occasionally acted as an analyst and Fight expert for the show with one of his more famous appearances being a "Tribute to Jynik Gowno" from 1985.
Mr. Surrency was depicted (unfavorably, many thought) by actor Ken Curtis on an episode of the original Star Trek. Following his public disapproval of the episode, he was invited to tour the set of Curtis's regular television show, Gunsmoke. Never much of a television fan, Surrency made an exception for "ol' Marshall Dillon" and visited. Matt Dillon actor James Arness enjoyed Surrency so much they used him as an extra on the show, and decided to make an episode where Marshall Dillon and Festus take part in the Great Outdoor Fight. Mr. Surrency appears as an extra along with several other Fight veterans in the resulting episode, "The Great Outdoor Fight."
Mr. Surrency died in 1994, at the age of 114, after an association with The Great Outdoor Fight that lasted over six decades. The cause listed by the coroner was "Being Older Than Dirt." The cane that he carried for most of his life is part of the permanent collection of the Great Outdoor Fight Museum.
[edit] Famous Moments and Notes from his Fight
The Scottish Fold - Wherein Surrency folded opponent Elroy MacHorn in half and kicked him through the fence. Amazingly, MacHorn survived.
The Evil Eye - Reputedly, Surrency just glared at Tom Chaney and the latter died of terror. Largely considered apocryphal by most Fight historians. When asked about the incident, Young Jude refused to comment.
The Texas Two-Step - Surrency displayed his knowledge of previous fights by using this favorite of Roland Ehret on no less than thirteen individuals. He also used the Jibblies Punch by itself on another twelve, eight of whom died. In later years, this performance would be referred to as The Nutcracker Suite by certain Fight Historians.
The Walk - Upon entering the fight, Surrency moved towards the side and watched the opening scrum with some interest. At this point, Kid Cleveland, a promising and somewhat cocky young fighter from Tennessee decided to mock the old man by calling out "hey, you old bastard, need a rockin' chair for that sideline?" Surrency responded with "the Hell you say!" and walked right through the scrum itself destroying everyone in his path and even a few people who weren't, like Elroy MacHorn. He completely crossed the scrum, turned around, and walked back through it again. When he returned to his original spot (accompanied by Hood Heeler, who he had pulled MacHorn off of before kicking him through the fence), he told Cleveland "now folla me, you sonuvabitch and I'll show you how a man fights!" Cleveland's response? "Sure, Boss."
The Twenty-Three Skidoos- The last twenty-three remaining contestants of the fight were Young Jude Surrency and his entire army, the Twenty-Three Skidoos. Surrency fought each of the other twenty-two men in turn while the others sat around playing a deck of cards smuggled in by Rico Petelli (which are now in the possession of the Great Outdoor Fight Museum). The various members of Surrency's army refused to watch the fights as they said that watching it might give them a hint on how to beat Surrency, which was an advantage none of them wanted. If they were going to beat their general, it was going to be on the square. The results of the individual fights as recounted by the fighter and Surrency can be (or will be shortly) found in the descriptions of the fighters.
As the story goes, the order Surrency fought them in was determined as follows:
Surrency: Which one of you bastards is in the best shape?
Kid Cleveland: That'd be me, Boss.
Surrency: Get over here so I can kick your ass while the others sit a spell.
He then continued to call out the healthiest fighter from then on.
[edit] Quotes
"These damned machines ain't got the heart for the Fight. Lit'rally. They don't get tired, don't know pain, don't know the joy of beatin' a opponent. How in the hell can you have a Champion that cain't feel nothing?" Objecting to Fight-Bot; interview 1986.
"If'n one sonuvabitch can kill another dumb sonuvabitch with a damn plastic spork, then that first sonuvabitch is Champion material!". From Ruling Body meeting minutes, 1970 following the Turkey Dinner Incident.
"Jesus Christ. I've seen a lot of things in my life, but, honestly, nothin' compared to that." Commenting on the Wisdom Tooth Takedown, 1936.
"This fugue business... fugure, that right? Any how, a sonuvabitch that don't know what he's doin' ain't a real Champion. He's just some dumb sonuvabitch out killin' people. Where's the class? Where's the style?" Commenting on the 1984 Dutch fugue fueled win by Fauntleroy Brown.
"Tell me, Bob. Why the hell hasn't somebody killed you yet?" On the Bob Raffles show, 1977.
"Well, I'll be a sonuvabitch." In response to Lowell Carmichael tearing his own head off.
"That goddamn sonuvabitch might be a Champion, but he ain't no fighter." In response to Chris Matta's controversial win in 1958.
"There wasn't a sonuvabitch on the acres whose blood wasn't on that man's hands." On Rodney Leonard Stubbs breaking Surrency's record in 1973.
"When is that sonovabitch goin' to start talkin' proper English like what us folks do?" --Regarding Brad Sweden's grammar.
"Goddamn fine takedown; that sunovabitch Wilkerson can't take that kind of High Five to the Face. Too bad Leandro ain't around no more to try that on me." Commenting on Leandro Sidower's takedown of Trinidad Wilkerson.
"That's one fat sonuvabitch." First impression of 1977 Champion Herb "The Fat Man Who Can" Lane.
"Jesus Tap Dancin' Christ! Did ya see the beautiful spin that sonuvabitch put on that bottle? That's just damn poetry. Prettiest thing I ever saw!" Concerning Rodney's Beerbottle Spiral.
