James T. Lightloafer

From The Great Outdoor Fight

Mr. Lightloafer (b. 1905, d. 1967) was born to a wealthy Eastern industrialist in 1905. His family fortunes managed to survive the Crash of 1929 intact and James was left with a common problem of the idle rich: boredom or, as he liked to call it, ennui.

The notion of the Great Outdoor Fight caught his fancy sometime during the early 1930s and after a few years as a spectator, he decided to enter it himself. Mr. Lightloafer managed to construct a sizable army, called the Jim-Dandies, out of hoboes and various other poor by promising them wealth in exchange for lying down and letting him win the fight.

This was not to be as much of his army was destroyed during the first day rampage of Young Jude Surrency as well as the depredations of the other armies present that day. Despite this, he still attended the Turkey Dinner where he became incredibly sick after drinking an alcoholic beverage that he deemed "of extremely dubious quality." He became so ill in fact that he was incapacitated and had to leave the fight.

Mr. Lightloafer never again attended a fight even as a spectator as he refused to associate with any institution that did not stock premium wine.

Mr. Lightloafer made his sole appearance in the Fight in 1933 and died of an advanced case of "the vapors" in 1967.