Donovan

From The Great Outdoor Fight

Through a series of miscommunications among various members of the Ruling Body, cute and cuddly folk artist Donovan was selected as the entertainment for the 1967 Fight (the intention had been to invite Dwayne "Mad Turtle" Donovan, a honky-tonky balladeer best known for his ode to senseless brawling and lost love, "I'd Punch a Thousand Men If I Could Punch My Way to You"). The officials realized their mistake only when Donovan arrived on the morning of the first day, and though they feared for the singer's life in the probable event of a massive riot against him, they allowed him to go on.

Fortunately, by the time Donovan took the stage he was in the throes of an intense acid trip, and devoted most of his set to an improvised psychadelic ballad celebrating the honor and bravery of the fighters. The song was so powerful that it induced an extra-sensory 'spirit rage' in several fighters. 1967 Champion "Goddam Bastard" Bousum later said of it: "It's like I could see how I would beat their asses down before I did it. It wasn't no fugue, more like the song was telling me things I already knew, I just didn't know I knew them yet. Goddam that little boy could play guitar."

A single recording of the song exists, thanks to a quick-thinking viewer in Tower One. However, due to the destructive potential it may unlock in the audience, it remains in a locked vault in the Great Outdoor Fight Museum and will only be played for a single person at a time in a specially constructed security room.