In the webcomic Achewood on 25 January 2006, this website is featured. It was available at the time of publication, and in order to prevent the unseemly use of this address, I (a mere fan of the comic) registered the domain.

— Plutor

Dane Bullard

From The Great Outdoor Fight

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1979 Champion. Dane Bullard, or "Bullard the Dullard" was symptomatic of the 1980s slump. While the fight was as popular as ever and still the awesome spectacle of violence it had been during the 66-76 "Golden Age," much of the style and panache had drained from the fight. Bullard made no creative use of weapons and executed no fancy moves. He was simply a mountain of a man (6'5", 300 pounds) with a length of pipe.

It was fights like this one that led to spectacles like Fight-Bot which were intended to increase interest. Most attempts merely hurt the spirit of the fight. The horrible Dutch Fugue of Fauntleroy Brown, though notable for its horrible price in life, could not compete with the showmanship of Rodney Leonard Stubbs or Ishihiro Yagi.

Bullard was never happy with criticisms of his fighting style. "I get de job done," was his usual retort, and of course this was true. He returned to the fight three more times (making an impressive six Fights total he fought in), each time trying to prove he could be as interesting as anyone on the field.

Unfortunately for Bullard, he failed to make any decent impression on the 1982 Fight, though he made it to day 3. He was in the 1984 fight, but the spectacle Fauntleroy Brown made in his Dutch fugue overshadowed anything Bullard did. Bullard actually made an attempt to engage the fuguing Brown on day one, but he was clubbed from behind by Fancy Joe Comanche and knocked unconscious before he got within twenty feet of Brown.

Bullard's last fight was in 1988. He made it to 2nd last man standing, and fought with greater brutality than in previous years -- trying to make up for a lack of style with violence. Unfortunately for Bullard, he ran afoul of Sonny Veith, who was trying to win the fight without resorting to unnecessary violence. Veith had stunned Pretty Boy Eli Malloy by crushing the side of his face. However, Veith hesitated, seeing the damage he had caused. Sensing a chance to make a new reputation for himself, Bullard tore Malloy's kidneys out and boxed his ears with them. This so offended Veith that Veith berserked, beating Bullard into a bloody pulp.

Bullard entered a coma. He died two days when bleeding in his brain could not be controlled.

Bullard, despite his efforts in 1988 and the method of his death, never did overcome the stigma of his lack of personal style. He is remembered today as emblematic of a slump in the Fight's history.

[edit] Quotes

"That boy there might be a good fighter, but he's done the boringest fighter I ever done seen" -- Young Jude Surrency
"Remember The Man With The Blood On His Hands? This guy's the Man With A Full Tank Of Gas In His Volvo." -- Late Night Comedian Artie Pyles