Cordell Bard

From The Great Outdoor Fight

Cordell Bard (1863-1887) born Cordy Shaxberd in Yermo, California.

Early life
The Shaxberd family were surprisingly literate for a poor family of itinerant lettuce pickers; Cordy was read Chaucer and Milton for bedtime stories. His first words were in iambic pentameter and he often used obscure sixteenth-century insults in school. Not surprisingly, this led to many fights and Cordy learned how to savagely beat other boys while declaiming rhyming couplets.

Adulthood
After the notorious "Banbury Cheese" incident, Cordy moved to Bakersfield and changed his name to Cordell Bard. There he heard of the Fight and promptly entered. Bard's first day was not terribly successful; he savaged seven men by reciting stanzas from Marlowe, and then beating them down when they stood there in puzzlement. Bard only gathered a small group when others around realized that if they fought for him, they wouldn't have to listen to him. Bard spurned the second day's traditional turkey feast:

"What, shall our feast be kept with slaughter'd men?
Shall braying trumpets and loud churlish drums,
Clamours of hell, be measures to our pomp?"

This made no sense to his small army, who promptly ate his share.

Bard and "Sourdough Charlie" were the last two standing. Charlie had survived by being deaf, and it was somewhat ironic that Bard first tore off his ears to win the Fight.

Bard died of a ruptured appendix November 10, 1887. His last word was reported at the time to be "Bacon", but this has been dismissed by subsequent scholars.