- — Plutor
Chris Matta
From The Great Outdoor Fight
Chris Matta (1920 - 1980) - 1958 winner of the Great Outdoor Fight was the first man to win the Great Outdoor Fight primarily through economic means.
Growing up during The Great Depression, Chris learned the importance of money at a young age. More generally, he recognized the need for structure in any society. He saw the hierarchy of class and hypothesized that the Great Outdoor fight could be seen as a microcosm of civilization, and could be exploited as such.
Matta's theory of economy stemmed from the realization that well-fought men could be used as currency "on the inside". Consequently, funds could be exchanged between the outside currency of US Dollars and the inside currency of well-fought men as easily as currencies are exchanged between countries.
While Matta was not a rich man on the outside, he possessed an entrepreneurial spirit that was hard to deny. He raised funds by presenting a high-profile pitch to the Soviet government, asking for funding. In return, Matta promised to pledge allegiance to the USSR at the awards ceremony upon receipt of the trophy. The United States government could not allow such an embarrassment, and donated a considerable percentage of its annual defense budget to Matta's cause.
The exact amount of the donation is unclear. Many of the documents have recently become declassified as part of the Freedom of Information Act, but the accounting was purposely convoluted so that only officials in the inner circle of President Eisenhower even knew that the money existed. Many research accountants are tracing the paper trail to this day.
What is clear, however, is that on the first day of the Great Outdoor Fight, Chris Matta offered the three highest seeded combatants several hundred thousand dollars to fall to his hands. Wilford Geldum, Johnny "Snakeskin" Lakesbin, and an aging Logan Ingalls were all disqualified with superficial wounds (bloody nose, indian burn, and stubbed toe, respectively), apparently inflicted by Matta.
Chris Matta then paid several vocal men a sum of 20 dollars each to spread the word that he had taken the top three seeded men out in the first hour.
What followed was a steady stream of suspicious disqualifications on the part of men that should have been handing out ass whoopings. In fact, there is no record of Chris Matta ever laying a hand on his fellow competitors. The final battle, between Matta and underdog Georgie Mildensen, an accountant from upstate New York, is said to have lasted 59 minutes and 15 seconds exactly. The showdown consisted of the men drawing up a contract with sticks in the dirt. In the end, Mildensen complained of severe migraines with 45 seconds to go and was disqualified.
The 1958 Great Outdoor Fight is widely considered a blemish on the history of the contest, and inspired a number of important reforms, not the least of which was the introduction in 1962 of the Jeeps. From this point on, the fights have been closely monitored for bloodspill and any suspicion of persuaded concession is met with harsh, and sometimes even hellish consequences.
In the years shortly following 1958, many of the combatants that took money in exchange for throwing the fight disappeared mysteriously. Some speculate that the US Government placed them into witness protection, but most believe that the tentacles of the Great Outdoor Fight were so numerous and long that the men were quietly executed, cremated, and spread across the Acres.
Matta himself was found in his apartment on September 3, 1980, dead from what the coroner determined to be a self-inflicted Great-Outdoor-Fight-Trophy wound. While some say there might have been evidence proving otherwise, the body was hastily cremated, (Despite his family intending for an open-casket funeral) and the trophy was, after a through cleaning and repairing paid for by the Ruling Body, placed in a storage locker in the Great Outdoor Fight Museum. Requests for viewings of the trophy have as of this date, gone unsuccessful.
Of note, though Chris Matta is officially a champion, he is largely not considered an actual fighter, and most records correspond to this. Young Jude Surrency is quoted to say, "That goddamn sonuvabitch might be a Champion, but he ain't no fighter."
[edit] Quotes
“'For to win one hundred victories in one hundred battles is not the acme of skill. To subdue the enemy without fighting is the acme of skill' --Sun Tzu" Radio interview shortly after the 1958 fight.
