Brad Sweden

From The Great Outdoor Fight

Brad "Sweden" Eriksson, (6th February 1930 - 14th January 1990), also known as the "Gargantuan Scandinavian", striking due to his tall frame, his shock of blonde hair and his curious turns of phrase. He entered the Great Outdoor Fight four times, in 1972, 1973, 1976, and 1977, after which he retired, having never won the fight. Some maintain he is one of the greatest fighters never to win the Fight.

[edit] Early Years

Ironically, (perhaps intentionally so) Brad Eriksson was born in Tromsø, Norway on the 6th of February 1930, son of a local barman. He soon rose to fame whilst still a teenager in his local town, handing down "beatings of the down variety" for money to supplement his pocket money. Later, entranced by the American dream, he hitch-hiked, cajoled and fought his way to America, where he spent his time again, supplementing his income as a drifter with fighting. It is around this time that he adopted the moniker "Brad Sweden", since people kept referring to him as Swedish. This seemed to enrage him normally, and many people who fought him found that they had inventive things done to them with maps of the Scandanvian peninsula. It was in 1972, however, that he found out about the Great Outdoor Fight, and after dispatching the local opposition in the Qualifying Round outside a car-park in New Mexico, he muscled his way down to The Acres to take part.

[edit] 1972 Great Outdoor Fight

Finding himself in the army of Thomas Thomas "Tom-Tom" Macoute, the "Unlunchables", he immediately established a reputation for himself as a resourceful and unorthodox fighter, using his knees and elbows far more often than his fists or feet. In one memorable move, he took out Rowdy Dave Roddy by grasping Roddy's arms between his and using his knees to break Roddy's spine. As Roddy was a seasoned fighter in himself, Brad got serious style points, and more was to come as he single-handedly crushed The Boom Stick's head between his knees, and tore off Coiffured Carey Planigan's scalp, a move which was applauded by many Fight fans for the flair with which it was done.

Brad became Tom-Tom's right-hand man when "Scissors" Mackenzie fell to Lord Brannigan in the third day, with 50 or so competitors left, with a well timed head-twist. But disaster was to come as a then little-known fighter, Bailey Braddock took down Tom-Tom, mashing his face into a pulp. Leaderless, the "Unlunchables" looked lost, and Lord Brannigan cleaned up to become Champion. Brad was taken out by Lord Brannigan himself, after a tense battle led to Lord Brannigan taking a well-placed stomp on Brad's leg.

[edit] 1973 Great Outdoor Fight

After his tour de force performance in 1972, and with many of the higher-rated fighters that had fought that year not returning, Brad Sweden was widely considered a favourite to win the Great Outdoor Fight that year, and quickly recruited a group of fighters who were all too happy to fight for him. But this was not to reckon the sheer force of nature that was Rodney Leonard Stubbs, The Man With The Blood On His Hands. Quickly realising that Stubbs was the real threat to everyone in the Fight that year, Sweden told his 100-odd strong group, The Oldefolderoldis to hold back as Stubbs eliminated both the armies of "Slick" Johnny Bonetti and Donwald Cassidy.

On the second day, Sweden went into the food tent, and ate in grim silence with the two other army leaders, who realised the threat that Stubbs posed to them all. Meanwhile, of course, Stubbs was taking down Burney Tassarack's entire army, and then lay in wait for the army leaders as they came out of the tent. He took them all down with exceptional swiftness, killing both Tassarack and Daniel Boleskwi. Sweden, after hearing the screams of both, tried to attack Stubbs whilst he was still busy strangling Boleskwi, but a swift punch to the Jibblies followed by a swift cracking of Sweden's kneecaps meant that Sweden was taken out. It is thought that Stubbs' preoccupation with strangling Boleskwi is all that saved Sweden from suffering the same fate as the other two army leaders. Stubbs, of course, went on to become the Champion of the 1973 Fight.

Brad himself is one of the few people that actually took out anyone that year apart from Stubbs, taking out Davie O'Rourke, Sandy Williams and Small John Whelps.

[edit] Record

• 1972: eliminated Day 3, 17th Man Standing.
• 1973: eliminated Day 2, 1723rd Man Standing.
• 1976: eliminated Day 3, 4th Man Standing.
• 1977: eliminated Day 3, 165th Man Standing.

[edit] Quotes

• "You will receive a beating of the down variety." - to various
• "You obviously are reading the map wrong. I am not from Sweden. I will rearrange your head to make you see the map clearer." - to various
• "There is one word for you, and that is dead. Fatal dead." - to Davie O'Rourke, the "Ire from Eire" in the 1973 Fight
• "There is three ways you will die today, by my left hand or by my right hand." - to Tall Deep Paul in the 1972 Fight
• "Oh, yes. I apologise. There is also by your big mouth." - to Tall Deep Paul after he had sneeringly said that Brad had only mentioned two ways. Tall Deep Pall was D/Qed soon after. Cause: No legs.
• "I am maintained by ham!" - To no-one in particular, 1972 Fight
• "When is that sonuvabitch goin' to start talkin' proper English like what us folks do?" - Young Jude Surrency gives his opinions on Brad Sweden.