In the webcomic Achewood on 25 January 2006, this website is featured. It was available at the time of publication, and in order to prevent the unseemly use of this address, I (a mere fan of the comic) registered the domain.
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Bernard Gleper

From The Great Outdoor Fight

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Soon after Bernard's birth in a rundown shack outside of Tallahassee, Bernard's father, Adolph Gleper, stuck his thumb deep into his newborn sons stomach. There he deposited two nickels and three pennies. Because of this Bernard never had many friends. He commonly would be seen sitting at home punching through wooden crates, then being beaten severely by his father.

His mother, a dutch whore named Kira Voydjec, was never present in his life as a child. She visited intermittently until she was hit by a carriage. She is buried at kyleswood cemetery in Nashville, Tennessee.

Bernard's victory is known as one of the least gory battles ever recorded in the history of the fight. On the first day, Bernard slept three hours in the center of the acres. After those three hours he had half his pelvis shattered by attacker, Marcus Levant. Bernard being the son of a whore that he was snapped into action and tore off the foot of Levant. Throwing Levant to the ground, Bernard brought his fist down on Levant's throat crushing his spine in tow. Upon seeing this destruction of their leader sent the Little Levantleroys running in fear. By day two all of these men had been hunted down and had their pelvises crushed to dust. By noon of day two he had slept twelve hours. Bernard's detractors in the fight attempted to label him a coward but they were quickly dealt with through a swift punch to the neck crushing the spine. By the end of day three there was only Bernard Gleper, with a death count of fifteen, and Pete Wansley, a man who on the first day had viciously killed seven hundred men by sticking his hand their throat and punching their hearts. Many had already labeled Wansley the winner when he smashed Gleper's ribs. However, right before being pulled from the field Gleper set his hands on Wansley's back. Wansley was pulled to the ground by the gravely injured Gleper. At the moment Wansley hit the ground Gleper grabbed his throat and struck the base of Wansley's spine, setting his fist through the front of the poor mans skull. Soon after being named the winner Gleper was hospitalized where he was placed in an Iron lung he lived in for the rest of his short life. Gleper died in Santa Anna at the age of thirty-two.

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